2019 was long. And hard. We all really, really needed a vacation last December and it just didn’t happen – and then there was no part of the past 12 months that offered a respite. It felt like our family was hit over and over again with one thing after another.

It was the year of Lulu’s mysterious illness – which has *mostly* been resolved now, but is still unexplained. It was doctor’s appointment after doctor’s appointment with specialist after specialist – each one believing they could find an answer and running multiple tests before ultimately giving up and passing us off to someone else.

It was a year of Cole being somewhat neglected and the impact of that was not insignificant; he gained and then lost 15 pounds to end up back at his starting weight. His rigidity and anxiety increased significantly, adding an Asperger’s diagnosis to the letters on his new IEP: ASD, ADHD, SPD.

It was a year of Adam and I not meeting eye to eye – the stress of caring for our family and the fatigue of being overworked NOT helping us to have any reserves from which to care for each other.

Many of my friends on my Facebook page have been choosing words to represent their year ahead. One word to help focus their goals and manifest their aims. If the word for 2019 was “struggle,” I am hopeful that 2020 will bring us some “balance.” I look forward to all of Lulu’s health concerns completely resolving and an increased ability to help Cole feel confident and happy. I look forward to better work/home time equity and a chance to spend time with Adam together as more than coparents.

To all of my friends who read this, I wish for you a wonderful year ahead.

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