G’mar Hatima Tova

This graphic, or some version of it, has popped up all over my newsfeed in the past week. As we move through the High Holiday Season, this is a time of reflection and atonement, in order to move ahead.

It reads “To those I may have wronged, I ask for your forgiveness. For those I may have helped, I wish I could have done more. For the many I neglected to help, I am truly sorry. To those who helped me, I am deeply grateful.”

I want to take a moment with those last bits. For the many I neglected to help, I am truly sorry. I was focused entirely on my kids and work this year, pretty much full stop. I did not have the bandwidth to extend myself beyond Lu and Cole and my Baby To Go families – and even that was a stretch many times. I know some of my friends had their own struggles this year, and I am sorry for when I was not there. I also dropped the ball on many of my extra activities and responsibilities, and am so thankful for those who picked up my slack. I will do better this year.

To those who helped me, I am deeply grateful. This is such an incredible understatement. MY community came through for me this year in such a major way – over and over and over again. Friends reached out at times of struggle and offered emotional and physical support to a magnitude I can never ever repay, although I will try. When I was younger, I read Anne of Green Gables because everyone my age did, I think, and I joked around about the “Anne effect.” It seemed to me that Anne basically smiled or offered some small kindness to an elderly woman in book 1 and that same person essentially found her a job and bought her a house by book 5. The relationship felt a little lopsided. Right now, SO MANY of you have gone so far out of your way for me and I feel like Anne. Maybe I am a vaguely nice person, but this return? I can’t comprehend it. I love you – everyone who sent me a message or drew Lu a picture or took Cole for a playdate. Who listened to my crazy ramblings without judgment. Who checked in when I was feeling low and met for coffee when I needed a friend. I am so, so deeply grateful.

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