In case you missed it over on Outnumbered 3 to 1 yesterday… Thanks again to Melissa for having me!
Early Mornings with Mommy – A Game
I am an early riser – I want to get up with the sun and not miss any of the day… somehow, the stork delivered me to the wrong family because Mommy, at best, is a mid-afternoon person, and Daddy is not fully functional until approximately 7:00 pm. In order to help them, therefore, I play this game in the morning.
Ages 3 days and up
Object of the Game
To wake Mommy and/or Daddy up with plenty of time to see the sun rise – preferably by .
In order to properly play Wake Up!, you first need to engage all participating players. Begin by crying LOUDLY (in the direction of your baby monitor, if you can) so that Mommy or Daddy (whoever’s night it is) enters the nursery. In order to save your voice, you might cry for a few moments until Mommy has one foot on the ground, but is not quite off the bed, and then stop until she has laid back down again. Repeat. (Important: in order to follow the previous direction, you must have installed the optional “Mommy monitoring” system so that you always know when she is in a vertical or horizontal position.) Once the parent enters the nursery, refuse to be soothed by a simple “Baby Reset” (replacement of a lost binky, back rub). Advanced players can stop crying at this point and smile. Let’s play!
How To Play
From here on, there are really no rules; remember the object is to keep Mommy or Daddy awake and playing with you. Here are some strategies that have worked for me:
- Mommy will try to put you in your swing. Resist! The swing, with its soothing lullabyes, swaying motion, and captivating mobile is a powerful weapon. Stiffen and arch your back to make buckling you in more difficult. If you have been buckled in, cry and grab the mobile so the motor makes a loud ratchety sound until Mommy gives in.
- If Mommy lies down with you crooked in her arm, dig your elbow into her boob to raise yourself into a seated position.
- You’ve probably been practicing your pincer grasp at mealtime – use it! Anything within reach is fair game. Pinch Mommy’s arm, her nose, her ears, her eyelids – bonus points if you dig your razor sharp nails in!
- Give kisses; open your mouth as wide as you can and latch on to any part of Mommy’s face. I like to go for her nose because then, not only am I giving her a big wet kiss, but I’m also preventing her from breathing properly – try to sleep through that!
- Start a conversation. I’ve found practicing my vowel sounds (“Aaaaaahhhhh!”) to be particularly effective. (*If you are loud enough, you might wake up Henry, who will start his own version of Wake Up! with whichever parent is still trying to sleep in the bedroom.)
- Poo. A lot. Try to wriggle so the poo creeps up your back and threatens to escape your diaper.
These are just a few suggestions – there are many other ways to keep a parent awake – be creative!
Winning the Game
Once Mommy or Daddy gives in and shows signs of alertness (Daddy makes his coffee, Mommy checks her email), you have won! Congratulations! There is no need to continue playing at this point, so you may as well take a morning nap.
This is hilarious and also EXACTLY what happens at my house (except for the poo). I have played this game numerous times!
That was such a sweet write. I love your blog.